How delusional do you have to be to write an article talking about how gorgeous you are when you look like this?

Posted: April 3, 2012 in Uncategorized



















(Daily Mail) On a recent flight to New York, I was delighted when a stewardess came over and gave me a bottle of champagne. ‘This is from the captain — he wants to welcome you on board and hopes you have a great flight today,’ she explained. You’re probably thinking ‘what a lovely surprise’. But while it was lovely, it wasn’t a surprise. At least, not for me. Throughout my adult life, I’ve regularly had bottles of bubbly or wine sent to my restaurant table by men I don’t know. Once, a well-dressed chap bought my train ticket when I was standing behind him in the queue, while there was another occasion when a charming gentleman paid my fare as I stepped out of a cab in Paris. Another time, as I was walking through London’s Portobello Road market, I was tapped on the shoulder and presented with a beautiful bunch of flowers. Even bar tenders frequently shoo my credit card away when I try to settle my bill. And whenever I’ve asked what I’ve done to deserve such treatment, the donors of these gifts have always said the same thing: my pleasing appearance and pretty smile made their day.

There are downsides to being pretty — the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks. I’m not smug and I’m no flirt, yet over the years I’ve been dropped by countless friends who felt threatened if I was merely in the presence of their other halves. If their partners dared to actually talk to me, a sudden chill would descend on the room. And it is not just jealous wives who have frozen me out of their lives. Insecure female bosses have also barred me from promotions at work.

This had to be an Apil Fool’s Day joke right? I mean there is no fucking way that someone who looks like that would write an article about how absolutely stunning they are that it’s becoming a hassle in their day-to-day life.This is the type of writing you would expect to see on The Onion. There is no way this chick was able to write this article with a straight face. Has to be taking crazy pills… get the fuck out lady.


  1. Anonymous says:

    Who would write an article about their “good looks” in the first place? she must be dumb as hell too

  2. Anonymous says:

    this is the most average looking member of the opposite sex i have ever seen. and i have very low standards

  3. Anonymous says:

    I mean you gotta keep in mind she is from England so her being a like 4 in America equates to her being a 7 or something in England

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