Archive for May, 2012

One of the funnier videos I’ve seen in awhile. And it took place right in our backyard. Fucking Tow Truck Companies are out of control. Is there a worse feeling than walking out to see your car is gone? Especially when you’re hungover as shit and need to be somewhere. It seems like it’s guaranteed to happen at least once during college if you live near Dinkytown or the surrounding area, no matter how careful you are. Good to know the people towing them are such upstanding citizens though.

Best part: Screaming match back and forth with the trucker yelling “YOU’RE A FAGGOT!!! YOU’RE A FAGGOT!!! YOU’RE A FAGGOT!!! GET OUT OF MY FACE PPBBLLITTCCHHH”

I’m really embarrassed right now you guys. I had no idea that someone had their camera rolling.

For real though, is this the most pointless skill you can have? Like enough with that shit already and pour my god damn drink. I go to the bar to get shit hammed drunk and make a fool out of myself, not watch you twirl bottles around for 3 minutes. I’ll take speed over flashy any day. The guy working his ass off getting my drinks to me in 10 seconds is getting my $5 tip, not this fairy.

Looks like I finally found my partner for the We Fest Bag Toss Tournament, that is if I can’t get Patrick Kane (see below.) Giroux and I would go ham on anyone, and chicks especially wouldn’t stand a chance having to play in soaking wet panties. Just playin drinkin games with two half-arm casts like it ain’t no thang. Then prolly pounded this duck-faced puck slut in the cornhole like she deserves.

PS Giroux has a lot of catching up to do if he ever wants to get on Patty Kane’s off-season level

Kaner at Mifflin 2012

You listen here.  This here is America, and if Bill wants his goddamn fish, he gets his goddamn fish.  Why did he call the police?  Because he wasn’t gettin’ what every good American deserves, and that’s his RIGHTS!  If ya ask me, the fuckin’ chefs in the kitchen need to get their shit together and be ready for some good ol’ American customers like Bill.

…only in Wisconsin.

– Skeej (Wisconsin Intern)

(City Pages) A 16-year-old student at St. Paul’s Como Park High School brought cupcakes to his classmates on May 9. Nice gesture, right? Well, it’s not so nice when you fill one of the cupcakes with semen and the give it to an unsuspecting classmate. And then threaten to burn down the principal’s house after you get suspended for lacing your treats with that most illicit of all fluids. As unbelievable as that all is, it’s exactly what’s gone down the last couple weeks at Como Park High, according to a Pioneer Press report.

The “creamy” cupcake recipient began getting teased by his classmates May 10, the day after he ingested the treat his fellow student gave him. According to St. Paul police spokesman Paul Paulos, the victim’s classmates started asking him, “How he could do that, if it tasted funny, things like that, and he heard someone mention that semen was used in the cupcakes.” The alleged culprit reportedly only targeted one of his classmates for the semen-filled surprise.

Unfortunately, the student had already eaten the cupcake, so it will never be conclusively determined whether the 16-year-old who gave it to him is truly one of the most dastardly teenagers in world history or not. But the rumor itself was enough to prompt school administration to suspend the cupcake distributor, who then took to Twitter and threatened to burn the principal’s house down. The principal reported the threat to police, who haven’t arrested the student but have assigned an investigator to look deeper into the situation.

I’m kind of skeptical as to how this whole situation actually went down. And the fact that the fatty already ate the cupcake means we’ll never know if it was actually filled with semen. However, I see two possible scenarios. Either A. this kid brought in a single cupcake to give to one of the kids he hates who, for some reason, accepts and eats it. “Hey bro my mom baked you this delicious, semen-free cupcake.” Yeah okay how retarded would you have to be to accept suspicious, baked treats from your enemies in the first place. Which brings me to scenario B. the kid brought in a couple dozen cupcakes for the class and just told everyone “no no don’t take that one, that ones Johnny’s!” (Awesome Prank Farva) Either way it seems like it must have worked. And for that we thank you.

PS “According to St. Paul police spokesman Paul Paulos,” LOL GTFO Paul

PPS The kid who ate the cupcake is pretty much in a lose-lose situation here. Because even if he noticed there was semen in his cupcake, he’s pretty much guaranteed to get made fun of for knowing what semen tastes like

This has gotta be the closest thing to porn I’ve ever seen without actually being porn. It’s too early for this shit though, was definitely not prepared for the heat that this video brought. So excuse me while I go change my pants.

Just my standard Tuesday night right there.

Know anyone that should be a contestant on “You Gotta Puck One?” Send me their name, school, and about 5-6 good pictures to:

You Gotta Puck One – Week 9

You Gotta Puck One – Week 8

You Gotta Puck One – Week 7

You Gotta Puck One – Week 6

You Gotta Puck One – Week 4

You Gotta Puck One – Week 3

You Gotta Puck One – Week 2

You Gotta Puck One – Week 1