Archive for September, 2012

Finally something worth talking about out of Wisconsin other than Golden Tate’s absolutely SICK one-handed touchdown catch against the Packers Monday night. Wonder how many players she’s blown after home games. I’d give her a solid 8 though. Thoughts? Can anyone figure out that last digit in the ‘Call Me Maybe’ sign? I’m tryin to get it in tonight.

– Kinger

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Anyone else sick of all of this replacement referee talk yet? I’m guessing I’ve probably lost hundreds of female followers in the past 15 hours that just can’t take another word about what happened in Seattle last night. The worst part about something like this happening is SportsCenter the next day milking the debacle for all it’s worth. Spending hours interviewing anyone they can find around the set and Skyping irrelevant sports figures like Nascar driver Dale Earnhardt Jr just to hear about what they have to say about the situation, like anyone gives a shit. Then we got KFAN creating even more unnecessary “Call Me Maybe” parodies (although I will say this one is pretty decent). But who knows what’s next. It’s pretty much a free-for-all at this point.

PS – Anyone catch that game last night?

PPS – Yeah the Twins lost again

– Kinger

“I have no idea what to do with my hands”

Is there another sports team out there that you would have rather seen this happen to than the Green Bay Packers? I hate their fucking perfect little organization in their fucking perfect little town with their fucking perfect little stadium with every announcer telling me what a fucking perfect little place Green Bay is for football. Packers fans are the Trekkies of the NFL. Fat. Slovenly. Unjustifiably arrogant. When you celebrate the Packers, you’re celebrating a group of people who never had the intellect or courage to leave Green Bay and actually go DO something with their lives. The fact that Packers fans are allowed to be happy is proof that God doesn’t exist and that this universe is a cold, black, random place that cares little for the travails of mankind. So when something like last night happens, I don’t just enjoy it for a couple minutes and move on. I bask in it. I squeeze it for all it’s worth.

Twitter pretty much exploded last night as soon as that call was made, and nothing pleased me more than reading all of the self-righteous pricks from Wisconsin bitch and complain about how they just got fucked in the ass by the replacement refs. It was one of the most entertaining nights of sports I’ve seen in awhile. Then you got bimbos like T.J. Lang and Clay Matthews taking the low road to social media by cursing out the refs on Twitter and posting Rodger Goodell’s phone number on Facebook. Yeah it was a bad call. But Green Bay players/fans are literally acting like this was the first bad call ever made in the history sports. That they are some sort of entitled franchise that should never, EVER have to deal with a bad call. Grow the fuck up Peter Pan. Countchoculla. Hey remember when the replacement refs awarded San Francisco 5 timeouts and 2 extra challenges on Sunday and the Vikings still won? Winners make losers, losers make excuses. You scored 12 points and your MVP QB was sacked 39852840723 times. If you don’t put yourself in a situation to have the refs decide the outcome of the game, that never happens.

PS – If you sent out a tweet last night after that call was made that had nothing to do with that game or the replacement refs, you are like the most un-American person on the planet right?

– Kinger

What a fucking baller. Somebody get this kid a cigarette. This playa has the nards to demand lip-to-lip action from one of the hottest smokeshows in the game right in front of a 50,000+ crowd. Gotta be the cockiest move of all time. I would have said mouth to penis, but that’s just me. And what a bitch move by Carrie forcing him to close his eyes, then saying that’s the only time that will ever happen as he’s walking away. I mean yeah it goes without saying that his life will probably never get any better from this moment but it doesn’t need to be announced. Kid probably went straight home and fucked his couch cushions.

– Kinger

This was one of the first videos I ever posted when I started Pucking Sports back in December. I felt that I needed to post it again, for obvious reasons…

If you look closely, you should be able to make out which one of these dancers doesn’t belong.

– Kinger

Yet another example of how dogs are better than any other living being on the planet. Just out there on the tramp gettin his hop on with not a single care in the world. Even tossin in a couple barrell rolls for shits and giggles. Boarderline showboating. He doesn’t give a shit. I bet Mudd gets all the bitches.

– Kinger

This elephant deserves to be let out of that damn prison after pulling a stunt like this.  I’m sure that dude was standing there waving his arms at this elephant being all like, “Look here, look here, I need to Instagram a picture of you for my friends!!”  When this beauty of a creature decided enough is enough and thought to himself, “I’m gunna pick up some of my massive dump I took earlier and huck it right at this idiot’s face.”  Elephant: 1 bro:0, game, set and match.  This elephant wound up and sprayed a Kenny Power’s-esque fastball of strait shit into this dude’s mouth.  I literally think you can see the elephant smile afterwards when he realizes that he completely covered this dude in diarrhea.  Also the elephant is so excited about the way that turned out that he forgets he just had poop in his trunk a second ago and puts his trunk in his mouth.. But that’s neither here nor there.  The best part of this whole video might be seeing how absolutely butthurt this guy gets after being douched with elephant feces.  There is absolutely nothing this guy can do but walk around the zoo the rest of the day covered in shit, smelling like port-o-potty, and to me that is fucking hilarious.  I am in love with this entire video and say to all the animals locked up out there, continue fighting the man, your shit slangings are not going unnoticed!

– Swanny