Archive for November, 2012

Pretty pathetic that we got 12 year olds over in Russia brawling their little peckers off and fighting in college hockey in the US isn’t even allowed. Some people might watch this video and think that it gives the sport a bad rep, but I absolutely love it. You take a run at my goalie or one of my teammates and you better believe I’m coming after your punk ass with everything I got. That’s what hockey is all about. Sticking up for your brothers and doing anything/everything possible to let them know you got their back. You wanna hold hands, sit in a circle and sing Kumbaya then go play soccer. Gotta give it up to these kids for respecting the unofficial rules of hockey fights too for not coming out of the penalty boxes to join in.

Seeing that many kids in the penalty box is absolutely hysterical

– Kinger

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(ESPN) A Detroit Red Wings prospect faces charges under Michigan’s tough “super drunk” designation following a traffic stop during which police discovered him clad in a Teletubby costume. According to a Grand Rapids police report, Riley Sheahan twice registered a blood alcohol level of .30 percent when tested in jail after his arrest on Oct. 29. Police say the 20-year-old Grand Rapids Griffins center from St. Catharines, Ontario, was wearing the costume of a purple Teletubby known as Tinky Winky during the stop.

The “super drunk” charge carries a penalty of 180 days in jail and possible deportation. Sheahan also faces a charge of providing false information, as he was carrying the driver’s license of fellow Wings prospect Brendan Smith when he was arrested. According to the police report, Sheahan told police he was using Smith’s license so he could get into bars. Smith, 23, was the Red Wings’ first-round pick in 2007.

Well if you’re going to go out and get a DUI, you might as well do it in style. Not only is blowing a .30 twice back at the jail pretty impressive in itself, but getting pulled over while wearing a Teletubby costume is grounds for a nomination into the DUI hall of fame. But that’s only if he was wearing the head part of the costume too. Like how these cops were able to keep a straight face while Tinky Winky (or whoever the fuck the purple one is) attempts to walk a straight line is beyond me. If it were me, I would have told him to put the Teletubby head back on and had him do the Macarena or maybe had him bust out some Gangnam Style just for my amusement. Either way, Sheahan you’re a beauty.

– Kinger

PS – I think we can all agree this is Bettman’s fault.

PPS – If you haven’t gotten shit hammed drunk while wearing a Teletubby costume, you’re doing it wrong.

ya boy at We Fest

ya boy at We Fest take 2

Not sure

sex

Well, it’s almost that time of year again. Time for me to clean up all your fools’ money in the 2nd annual College Bowl Pick ‘Em pool. I will post a Word Doc with all the bowls once they are announced this Sunday night, Dec. 2nd. Save this Word Doc to your computer,  go through and BOLD your picks, and email me back the Word Doc with your picks. Do not include the spread, but include a final score of the BCS National Championship game which will be the tiebreaker.

– Each entry is $20 which must be received before you can make your picks.

– Each correct pick is worth 1 point. Each correct BCS bowl pick is worth 3 points. The BCS Championship game is worth 5 points with the final score of the Championship game being the tiebreaker.

– All picks and payment must be received by Friday, December 14th (the day before the first bowl games)

– I will post everyone’s Word Docs with their picks on Saturday, December 15th before the first games start. They will remain on here for the duration of the Bowl Season for everyone to have access to so you know no changes in picks have been made

– Payout: 1st – 65%, 2nd – 25%, 3rd -10%, 4th – Money back ($20)

– I will update and post the standings at the conclusion of every bowl game

If interested in participating, send me an email to puckingsports@yahoo.com, and I will let you know the best way to send in your payment (by mail or possibly in person if in Twin Cities)

This is open to anyone and everyone interested

Word Doc to save to your comp once bowls have been finalized —–> collegebowlpickem

– Kinger

(Kare 11) – A multi-agency sting operation that targeted both a business and a Twin Cities home has resulted in the seizure of more than 80 pounds of synthetic marijuana and $232,000 in cash. Mokrane Rahim, age 30, is charged with Fourth Degree Sale of a Controlled Substance to a Police Officer. Additional charges may be filed in the case. Other charges may be considered. A series of tips led the Minneapolis Fifth Precinct Community Response Team to conduct an undercover narcotics investigation into a tobacco store in the 4600 block of Nicollet Ave South. Beginning in early November, an undercover Minneapolis police officer purchased synthetic marijuana, also known as K2 or 420, from a clerk in the store four times. Following the drug buys authorities issued warrants to search both the business and the clerk’s home. On Wednesday November 21 officers from the Minneapolis, Transit and New Brighton Police Departments executed those warrants with help from federal agents. Along with 80 pounds of synthetic drugs, team members seized over $190,000 in a suitcase at the suspect’s home, and over $8000 from a microwave inside the business. Authorities also confiscated a Mercedes Benz and jewelry.

‘Props’ (is that what DA KIDS are saying now-a-days) to my boy RAHIM for taking the fall. Guess I can have my boo-thang unpack my bags and put my now-and-later gators back in the lake of isles mansion I use for my shoe closet. While I do appreciate the fact that I won’t be spending anytime in Stillwater, sucks that now I gotta do my own laundry.

I can only wonder if this Einstein was trying to pass it off as real weed, or if his loser customers actually knew they were illegally buying fake weed, in which case, wow.

He could have saved himself a whole lot of time by just throwing mixed herbs in a bag and selling that to these idiots.

In the wake of this, I feel the most sorry for you, our readers. Only a drug addled fool would contemplate reading this website on a regular basis, so with 80 pounds of that synthetic bob Marley off the streets, looks like you guys will have to go back sniffing super glue and reading world of Warcraft strategy guides to fill your miserable awesome lives.

Seriously though, if you are going to catch a charge, why the fuck would you bother to sell fake weed? Why not just slang the real deal? Thats what I have been doing would do if I was in the game.

First thing I would theoretically be doing if I was the real mastermind of this operation would be to identify who provided the ‘tips’ aka snitched….. Oh wait it was probably this guy.

And really? Jewellry so insignificant they didn’t even bother to value it at seizure? OK baby gangsta perhaps you should use that incoming time in Chino to take advice on how to ball so hard.

Honestly though, thank god they used all those resources and police man hours to get that synthetic demon weed off our streets before this happened. Its a real scourge to our society.

If you need a temporary fix of crackstacy of mariyayo (no federali), holla at ya boy.

Until next time,

DK

@D_K_almighty

Ok listen up people. Everyone saying this prank is over the edge and cruel just needs to chill their tits for a minute. Every single one of the people on that elevator reacted the exact opposite way that I know I would react in that situation. Don’t get me wrong, having an elevator stop mid-ride with the lights turning off and a little demon girl appearing out of the walls would stop me dead in my tracks and probably leave me standing in my own puddle of piss for a second. But unlike the people in the video, I actually have half a brain and have seen too many shows like Punk’d and Scare Tatics to let this little slut actually get to me. The first thing I’d do would probably be to throw a Chuck Norris-like judo kick right up this chick’s vagina. Just straight up punt her into the ceiling to show her she picked the wrong guy to mess with. Then when she starts crying like a little bitch to her mommy for letting her be apart of this and the people come running in to turn the lights on and open the door saying it’s just a prank, I’d strut out of that elevator like a boss lettin’ everybody know I don’t play that shit. Fuck outta my face bro.

– Kinger

Stop the Beliebers

Posted: November 27, 2012 in Uncategorized

Not much to say here. Video says it all. Except I will say that eating cereal with no milk seems like taking it a little too far.

PS – Having two consecutive posts on Justin Bieber really makes me question the direction that this site is headed. Don’t worry though, I’ll clean it up.

– Kinger

So my computer decided to totally fuck me by breaking for good a few days ago, so while I am waiting for a new one to come from the land of OZ, you might not be hearing from a player so much. In summary I was pretty much the victim of this.

As much as that chapped my hide, it is nowhere near as annoying as when you are on your way home from your 9 to 5 and some zillionaire tween pop star prolongs your trip by stopping in the middle of the street in his more-than-you-make-in-a-year whip to get verbal on some paparazzi.

I’m looking at you Justin Bieber.

Now don’t get me wrong, I too hate being chased by those vermin commonly known as paparazzi. Motherfuckers are always snapping me getting my swerve on, waiting outside my house in the bushes, sometimes in ghillie suits, and putting me on the most thuggishly dressed list. However I never see fit to take it out on the general public just trying to go about their business.

And before you scream, ‘BUT DK, YOU BE PLAYA HATIN ON MAH BOO JUSTY!’, and threaten to kill me or some twisted fanboy shit, let me just state for the record. I am not a belieber, however, I am also not a hater. I got nothing against shawty. Infact, I respect his hustle. We should probably cut a single together. We are both sons of the commonwealth and probably have a lot in common.

Envision it now: Justin Bieber (Feat. D.K. Almighty – Slam-Piece (If you were my) REMIX

Just don’t hold up traffic while the everyman is trying to get home from work or go to the movies, or is perhaps on their way to cop your god awful record. That’s the move of a grade A pencil dick. Im sure you wouldn’t appreciate it if you were coming over to bang Selena and I just wouldn’t get out of the bed, totally impeding your daily business.

P.S – If arms are the gunshow, you are packing a pen gun. And that whip looks hella gay in white, I would have got all over Gucci print with platinum trimming.

Love, DK

@D_K_Almighty