So on my daily browsing around the internet looking at fucked up shit and hot bitties for purely academic reasons, I sometimes come across women with such admirable moral ASSets that I feel compelled to share them with you all. Coincidentally just like a certain popular song with the youth right now, I love bad bitches, and thats my fucking problem. Seriously though.. I have been in therapy for several years. Also if you don’t know what a ‘stable’ is, take your suburban cracker ass here to catch up.
Don’t get me wrong though, if we are ever walking down the street and we see one of these girls and she so much as glances in our general direction, even if its undeterminable that she was even looking at us, or its clearly the result of a giant gust of wind propelling her head in our direction against her will, I will not hesitate to get medieval on your ass to dupe wow her into a date with me.
Oh friendship… Is there anything more important?
Those that know me probably know that while I don’t discriminate, I do have a weakness for dimey brunettes. That being said it only seems appropriate we kick this off by featuring the absolutely smoking Melanie Iglesias. She’s a east coast girl, but perhaps after I send some photos of my Mel shrine I keep in my closet, complete with burning candles, magazine clippings and custom made love doll action figure, she will come visit us in the Twin Cities.
In the meantime you can catch her on MTV 2’s Guy Code or follow her on twitter @MelanieIglesias. Be sure to let her know DK sent you, and if she happens to respond with, ‘’Thanks, but who the fuck is this loser DK?’’, just laugh it off. Thats just classic Melanie. Cracking jokes, playing hard to get, pretending she’s never heard of me. It’s a ruse.. she clearly wants me.